Relationships During Treatment

If you find that cancer and concerns about your life become overwhelming, find a way to talk with people in your life. Discuss reasons that they or you might be acting differently. Talking about concerns and feelings early on can help resolve problems before they get out of hand.

Getting Help With Your Relationships

If stress starts to build in your relationship, consider getting help from a licensed social worker or counselor. You may be better able to face challenges and focus on your healing when you feel supported by others.

Signs of communication breakdown:

• Frequent misunderstandings or disagreements.
• Use of criticism, sarcasm or name calling.
• Fewer expressions of love and affection.
• Not wanting to ask for needed help or support.
• Feeling hurt by things a loved one says or does.
• Physical and emotional withdrawal by you or your loved one.

Spouse or Partner Relationships

Spouses or partners are often the main source of support for one another. The level of support felt between loved ones is affected by the ability to talk openly about concerns and challenges. Feelings such as fear, anger or guilt can build up if communication stops. The distress that one person feels may affect the stress level of the other. In time, high levels of stress can strain a relationship. Talking openly is the best way to break this cycle. (See Communicating With Your Partner.)

Some people find it hard to ask for help. They may not want others to have to take on new roles and responsibilities. This is often true for those who have always been the one who helps others. In this case, a cancer patient may try to do tasks that are too emotionally or physically challenging. Yet, an important part of the healing process is getting the help that is needed.

Some are worried about the stress their loved ones feel. They may try to protect others by not sharing information or feelings. Important planning might be avoided. If you feel you can’t discuss certain things with loved ones, ask someone you trust to help you. A social worker, hospital chaplain or a member of your faith-based group can provide the support you need.

Sometimes you may think that loved ones and friends are too protective. Other times you the long-term effects of cancer treatment, such as fatigue or pain, can be hard for others to understand. If you look healthy or the cancer is in remission, others may want to forget about cancer so life can get back to normal. People affected by cancer often find that talking about these experiences with others who have similar experiences can be helpful.

Dating Relationships

Dating, with or without cancer, can be complex. In relationships with friends, there are psychological, social, and emotional components. When it comes to dating, things often feel even more intense.

Those with cancer may have to deal with issues that can make dating more complicated. Some may struggle with body image issues and live with uncertainty about the future. Others may have a hard time accepting the changes that cancer has caused in their lives. Dealing with all of these concerns on your own can be difficult. Trying to date someone and share intimate thoughts and feelings about these issues can be difficult.

Questions to Ask Yourself About Dating